what if i said yes

4×4 inch mixed media by Cynthia Berg, 2022

What if instead of dreading and resisting
I leaned in
What if I went running naked into
the discomfort and hesitation

Maybe the most painful place isn’t failure
the unrewarded effort
or another disappointment

Maybe the most painful place is on the fence
perpetually undecided
or the sustained bracing for impact
It’s the place where ‘no’ has been the default answer for so long
I find myself going to bed at 6:30pm
because I can’t bear empty consciousness
another minute longer

But what if ‘yes’ became the default

Yes to hot breakfast
Yes to bubbles in the bath water
Yes to walking through the neighborhood on a freezing cold day
Yes to a good long cry

Yes to reading the next couple of pages
burning the good candles
making the mess
wearing the skirt

Yes to the workout
the vegetables
the farmer’s market
the more expensive bouquet of flowers

Yes to a housekeeper once a month
the dental cleaning
a mammogram
taking medication
more sleep

Yes to starting a business
getting back in touch
a selfie on Instagram without the filter
sending the tax refund to my 401K this time

Yes to new towels
French press coffee
bras that don’t hurt
lip gloss

Yes to calling my mother
writing the letter
growing old
being loved

I make art to connect with the creative, intuitive energy that often waits long stretches of time while I do all the responsible grownup things. So when the opportunity to play arrives, I tend to let her roam wherever she likes.

My art practice is a genuine ‘freedom practice’ that surfaced in 2020 at a time when I needed it most. I hope it inspires you to create a few messes of your own and discover the healing medicine of intuitive, creative play.